When discussions with your partner become difficult and arguments arise during a separation, mediation can offer the assistance you need. Take a proactive step towards resolution by delving into the world of family mediation.
Next Steps
When discussions with your partner become difficult and arguments arise during a separation, mediation can offer the assistance you need. Take a proactive step towards resolution by delving into the world of family mediation.
Next Steps
If you and your partner feel able to discuss with each other at the end of your relationship money or children issues but at times those discussions got difficult, you come unstuck or frequently end up arguing the chances are that you would benefit with the help of a mediator.
If this sounds like you then it is worth exploring mediation further.
Mediation works by helping people who have decided to separate to sort out the differences between them. A mediator assists by helping facilitate those discussions so that an understanding can be reached which can then through a separate process be set out in a legally binding agreement.
It can be a painful and sad time when a relationship ends and trying to work out new living arrangements, financial agreements and family responsibilities can be difficult. Whilst it’s inevitable that emotions will run high, it’s important to have a neutral and safe environment where you can make decisions together about your future.
Mediation provides this environment and helps to give you perspective, clarity whilst facilitating a level playing field to explore ideas and empower you both to make decisions for yourselves and your children.
Family mediation is a voluntary process that enables couples to find an alternative to lengthy, intrusive, and expensive court appearances. It isn’t an alternative to legal advice and a mediator doesn’t tell couples what to do but, instead, helps individuals to improve levels of communication with the aim of reaching an amicable agreement.
Whilst family mediation can offer many things, it can’t offer couples therapy. Your mediator isn’t a relationship counsellor, or a marriage guidance therapist and they will not help you repair your relationship or prevent a divorce or separation. Neither will your mediator take sides in an argument or convince one person to accept a certain point of view.
Mediators do not give advice and financial situations, such as bankruptcy, may be complicated and your disputes will require advice and expertise not covered by family mediation. If you believe that your safety is at risk or if there has been evidence of domestic abuse, family mediation may not be appropriate.
If you are unsure whether family mediation is right for you, your mediator can help you decide. They will explain how to fill out the appropriate court form so that you can explain to a judge why mediation is not suitable for your circumstances.
After an initial chat on the telephone, it is likely that a mediator will arrange an initial Assessment Meeting. This gives you and your partner, in a separate meeting, an opportunity to explore the idea of mediation and how it might help you. These initial meetings are called Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings (“MIAM”). If you’re going to make an application to the court for a Child Arrangement Order or Financial Remedy Order, an Assessment Meeting is usually compulsory.
Once you’ve decided that family mediation is a useful way forward and if the mediator considers your case is suitable for mediation, they will arrange a meeting where you and your former partner will be present. These re called three-way meetings. How many meetings are needed will depend upon your case. You should expect to attend at least three mediation sessions, lasting between 1-2 hours each. However, fewer, or more sessions may be required depending on the complexity and number of issues being discussed.
Mediation meetings can take place online or face to face.
Sometimes meetings can take place on a shuttle basis meaning that the mediator goes between two rooms facilitating discussions.
If you are seeking to agree a financial settlement you will exchange financial disclosure and seek to agree a schedule of assets. This is called an Open Financial Statement. Once this has been agreed you will have your opportunity to set out your aspirations. Your former partner will set out theirs and the mediator will help you reach an understanding. This understanding is then set out in a document called a Memorandum of Understanding.
If you reach an understanding relating to children, it is likely that a Parenting Agreement will be drawn up. You may seek to get this set out in a court order and through a separate process get the understanding reached in mediation approved by a court.
Family mediation services are offered by James Belderbos in Rutland, for couples who are looking to overcome the difficulties they face during separation and divorce.
James has over twenty years’ experience as a lawyer. He is a trained mediator and collaborative lawyer and received his training from Resolution. Mediation training by Resolution is approved by the Family Mediation Standards Board. James is registered as a mediator in Rutland with the Family Mediation Council (FMC) and offers in-person mediation and online mediation services in Oakham and throughout Rutland and Leicestershire.
An FMC registered mediator guarantees that you are receiving help and guidance by someone that has been appropriately trained and qualified. FMC registered mediators follow the FMC Code of Practice. They are supported by a Professional Practice Consultant (PPC) and they are fully insured, offering a complaints process if something goes wrong.
Initial mediation meeting – MIAM – £147.00 plus VAT (£176.40) per person
Mediation Meeting – £140.00 plus VAT (£168.00) per person per hour.
Further charges are incurred in preparing summaries and documents at the end of the process.
We do not undertake publicly funded work such as Legal Aid
Mediation is voluntary. No-one will force you to use family mediation. If you decide that mediation isn’t right for you, you won’t be forced to take part. Even if you start the mediation process, you can change your mind if you feel it’s no longer helping you.
You may be required to find out what mediation is about if you are making certain applications to the court. Since April 2014 the courts have required most people to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (“MIAM”) before making an application for a Children Act application or a Financial Remedy in divorce proceedings. Whilst attendance at one of these meetings, in the most part is compulsory attendance at subsequent mediation meetings is not. We can advise you what exceptions apply.
However, it is worth considering the consequences of failing to give mediation a chance. You will still need to decide arrangements for you and your children. Some conversations with your partner may bring up awkward questions. Researching and understanding all the options available to you can be confusing and it could be that an unbiased family mediator may be just the help and guidance you need at this difficult time.
Any person facing divorce and separation should consider the benefits of mediation as one option in deciding how they will resolve aspects of their separation.
There are many benefits of family mediation including cost effectiveness and achieving quicker resolution whilst remaining in control of the process and outcome.
Family mediation itself is not legally binding. The mediator's role is to facilitate communication and help parties reach an agreement, however the understanding reached during mediation can be converted into a draft Consent Order which can be submitted to the court for approval and converted into an enforceable court order.
Mediation works best where both parties have their own solicitors. If you instruct us to be your mediator, we will remind you of the need to take independent legal advice. Mediators do not advise their clients they provide them with information.
We recommend that you have your own lawyer if instructing us for family mediation. If you are taking part in hybrid mediation you will need a solicitor with you.
Ready to explore the benefits of family mediation and take control of your family's future? Contact us today for a confidential consultation. Our experienced mediators are here to guide you through the process and help you find amicable resolutions.
I just wanted to send a personal thank you to you for the professional and expert way in which you dealt with the mediation. I believe you have been instrumental in not only the saving of many thousands of pounds of costs but also have reduced the emotional trauma that was deeply affecting my Client.
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