Stress Awareness Month: Choosing a Kinder Path Through Divorce for your Mental Health

Few life events are as emotionally taxing as divorce or separation. The uncertainty and strain on relationships can leave lasting effects on our mental health. But while the experience may be unavoidable for some, the way it’s handled can make a significant difference.

At Belderbos Solicitors, we believe in helping people navigate separation with care and clarity. Out-of-court options like mediation and collaborative law can help reduce the pressure and keep things more respectful and balanced – which makes a huge difference to your wellbeing in the long run. As we mark Stress Awareness Month this April, let’s look at why this matters:

1. The emotional weight of divorce

There’s no easy way to separate from someone you once shared your life with. Divorce can bring up a huge mix of emotions. When the process is drawn out or handled through the courts, the stress can quickly escalate. In fact, a YouGov survey commissioned by Resolution found that 41% of those who divorced experienced mental health challenges.

The good news is, how you choose to divorce can make a real difference. Out-of-court approaches are often calmer, quicker and far less stressful – helping you to move forward with clarity and care.

Clear minds lead to better decisions

Divorce is a stressful experience, but maintaining a clear mindset can help ensure you make decisions that are best for you in the long run. When emotions are high, it’s easy to make rash decisions that you might regret later. A calm and focused approach allows you to make thoughtful choices that are aligned with your goals.

 
Strategies for staying calm and focused

• Set clear priorities - establish what matters most to you, whether its financial stability or co-parenting arrangements, and keep those goals in mind throughout the process.

• Take breaks - When things get too overwhelming, step away for a moment to reset and regain perspective.

• Communicate clearly - Stay calm and direct in conversations, focusing on the facts and avoiding unnecessary conflict.

2. What are out-of-court options – and how do they work?

When it comes to separation, not everyone wants to go to court – and the good news is, you don’t have to. There are several out-of-court approaches that can help you reach a fair outcome while reducing stress and conflict along the way.

Here’s a quick overview of the main options:

• Mediation - A trained mediator helps you and your ex-partner talk things through and find common ground. They won't take sides or make decisions for you – their role is to guide the conversation and help you agree on solutions, whether it’s about finances, property or parenting.

• Collaborative law - Each person has their own solicitor, and you all meet to work things out face-to-face. Everyone agrees upfront not to go to court, which encourages a more open and respectful process.

• Arbitration - A bit like a private judge, an arbitrator listens to both sides and makes a decision you both agree to follow. It’s faster and more flexible than court and usually held in a private setting.

At Belderbos, we guide our clients with expertise and compassion, ensuring you fully understand all options and are empowered to make decisions that are best for your mental health and well-being.

3. Why Out-of-Court Means Less Stress

Choosing to resolve things out of court can make a real difference to how you feel during and after a separation. Here’s why:

• You stay in control – in out-of-court approaches like mediation and collaborative law, you’re not handing over your future to a judge. Instead, you and your ex-partner are involved in every decision. That sense of control can be empowering, helping to reduce feelings of helplessness or frustration.
• It’s more flexible (and often quicker) - Court dates can take months to arrange, and delays are common. Out-of-court options work around your schedule, meaning you can move at a pace that suits your family – and avoid the long wait times that often come with legal proceedings.
• Privacy and dignity – Going to court can feel intimidating and very public. Out-of-court options are private by design. Conversations happen in calmer, more neutral environments, and the focus is on constructive dialogue, not conflict. 
• Family focused - When children are involved, their mental wellbeing matters most. These approaches support cooperative decision-making that’s less likely to damage relationships – making future co-parenting easier and less stressful for everyone.

4. The long-term mental health benefits

The way a separation is handled can have lasting effects – not just in the moment, but for years to come. Choosing a less combative path can make all the difference to your emotional wellbeing in the long-run.

Less conflict means less trauma

Court battles can be draining. When things turn hostile, the damage can run deep – especially if the process drags on. Out-of-court routes are usually more cooperative, helping to reduce the risk of long-term emotional harm.

A more positive path forward

When children are involved, keeping the atmosphere calm is crucial. Out-of-court approaches support respectful communication, making it easier to move on and co-parent with less stress. That sense of peace benefits the whole family – not just in the moment, but in years to come.

Clearer minds make better decisions

Stress clouds judgement. When you’re constantly on edge, it’s harder to make clear-headed choices. By avoiding the intensity of a courtroom setting, people are more likely to think calmly and act in a way that reflects what they truly want for the future.

At Belderbos, we’ve seen the difference this makes. Protecting your mental state now can help you rebuild with strength, clarity and self-respect.

A kinder way forward

Stress awareness month is a reminder that while we can’t always avoid life’s challenges, we can choose how we respond to them.

If you’re facing separation and want a more peaceful, healthy way forward, we’re here to help. To explore your options or speak to someone who can support you, contact our team at Belderbos Solicitors.