Applications by grandparents 

Informal agreements

The most straightforward approach is to try to reach an informal agreement with both parents. This could involve:

• Regular visits - at your home, the grandchild's home, or a neutral location.

• Phone calls or video chats - maintaining regular communication through phone or video calls can be an effective way to maintain your relationship with your grandchild, especially if they have relocated after the divorce or separation

• Involvement in activities - participating in the grandchild's leisure activities, such as sports, performing arts or outings (with parental approval)

Sometimes, a light touch is all that is needed to agree a way forward that suits everyone. If you can achieve this, great!

Mediation

If an informal agreement proves difficult to achieve, consider mediation. This is something Belderbos Solicitors specialises in. Mediation works when a neutral third party can facilitate communication and help parents and grandparents reach an arrangement that works for all parties.

It is important to know that a family court will, in nearly all situations, ask an applicant to see mediation first before legal route is taken.

Together with around 6,500 other family lawyers and professionals, we are members of an organisation called Resolution. Resolution members are committed to resolving family disputes in a constructive way and we follow a Code of Practice that promotes a non-confrontational approach to family problems. 

Resolution encourages solutions that consider the needs of the whole family and are particularly focused on the best interests of the children involved. This includes outcomes that support maintaining the positive relationships kids share with their grandparents.

The family law courts actively encourage people to resolve issues in a non-adversarial way. The many benefits of doing so include:

• reduces time and cost 

• avoids the stress of going to court

• helps to avoid rifts developing between the parties

• benefits future communication and relationships

• have a much higher success rate

At Belderbos Solicitors, our highly experienced and qualified team are specialists in helping you to avoid court and reach agreements without the cost, stress and confrontation.

If mediation fails or the situation is particularly contentious, grandparents may consider applying for a court order. Here, there are two main options:

Child arrangements order (CAO) - this outlines how much time a child spends with each parent and potentially includes grandparents' visitation rights. However, grandparents cannot apply directly for this order. They would need the support of one of the parents or the court's permission to proceed.

Here are some key points to consider about child arrangements orders:

• Issued by the court - an order is only granted after an application is made to the family court, and a judge determines what is in your grandchild's best interests

• The primary focus is on child's well-being - the court makes the child's welfare its priority when making decisions about living and contact arrangements

• Flexibility - CAOs can be modified in the future if circumstances change, again through the court process

• Not a one-size-fits-all solution - each order is unique to the situation and tailored to meet the specific needs of the family involved

Specific issue order - this addresses a specific concern, such as regular visitation rights for grandparents. While obtaining this order is easier than a child arrangements order, it only focuses on specific issues, such as visitation, and not broader aspects of the child's life. 

Grandparents or other relatives who do not have parental responsibility can apply for a Specific Issue Order if granted leave by the court to do so.

It is always important to remember that the court will put a child’s welfare before everything else. The judge or magistrate will take in a range of factors before making a decision, and in the hearing, you will get the chance to present your argument as a grandparent and the evidence to support it.

The Children Act 1989 outlines guidelines for judges to consider when reaching a decision:

• The wishes and feelings of the child, while taking into account their age and level of understanding

• The child’s physical, emotional and educational needs. This will include the child’s health and access to education and support networks

• The impact on the child should their circumstances change. For example, in regard to education, the court might consider the disruption to the child's schooling and friendships if they change schools

• Characteristics including age, sex and background

• Whether the child is at risk of harm or whether harm has already been suffered

For the grandma or grandpa trying to maintain a relationship with their grandchild after the divorce or separation of the child’s parents, we see a whole range of issues, from reduced access to financial worries. Here are some of the most common challenges:

Reduced access to grandchildren

• Scheduling conflicts - clashing schedules with the parents' new living arrangements or parenting plans can limit visitation opportunities.
• Parental disagreements - fall-outs between the parents about grandparent access can make it difficult to maintain regular visits.
• Distance and relocation - if a mum or dad relocates with the grandchild, maintaining a close relationship becomes more of a challenge, especially for geographically distant grandparents.

Emotional strain

• Feeling excluded - it is not uncommon for grandparents to feel excluded from important decisions regarding the grandchild or left out of family events due to the strained relationship between parents.
• Coping with conflict - witnessing conflict between a son or daughter and their ex-partner can be stressful for grandparents, and they may struggle to navigate their role in such situations.
• Worrying about a grandchild's wellbeing - the instability of the divorce can cause anxiety for grandparents, who may worry about the grandson or granddaughter's emotional and psychological well-being.

Uncertainty and legal issues

• Lack of clear rights - grandparents don't have automatic right in the UK to see their grandchildren, so understanding their legal options and navigating the court system can be a daunting task. Also grandparents don’t have parental responsibility and so cannot automatically make an application to the court. They first have to seek permission. When seeking permission, they will have to demonstrate to the court that they have played a meaningful part in a child’s life.
• Financial concerns - depending on the situation, grandparents may face additional financial burdens, such as travel costs, to maintain contact with their grandchild.
• Strained relationship with parents-in-law - the divorce can also worsen relationships with former in-laws, creating additional tension and communication barriers.

Maintaining a positive role

• Balancing support for parents and grandchild - grandparents may struggle to balance their support for the parents and their desire to maintain a close relationship with the grandchild.
• Navigating new family dynamics - adjusting to the new family structure and respecting the boundaries established by the parents can be difficult.
• Avoiding taking sides - getting caught in the middle of the parents' conflict can be detrimental to the grandchild's well-being. Grandparents must strive for neutrality.

Overall, grandparents play a vital role in a child's life, and divorce can seriously disrupt these important relationships. By understanding the challenges and approaching the situation with empathy and respect, it is possible for you to maintain a positive connection with your grandchild after their parents divorce. We can help give you peace of mind and a clear idea of the options available to you as the grandparent.